1903 The Bachelor Book

35

THE ULTIMATUM. "You can decorate your office with a thousand gilded signs, And have upholstered furniture in quaint antique designs; Have the latest patent telephone where you can yell 'HelioP But, said she, ;I just made up my mind that typewriter must go." ' Youcan stay down at the office,as you have done,after hoursf And,if you are partial to bouquets,I'll furnish you with fiowers. You can spring the old club story when you come home late, you know. But,remember,I've made up my mind that typewriter must go." "You can let your book-keepers layoff and see a game of ball; The office-boy can leave at noon or not show up at all. 1 here whatis this upon your coat? It isn't mine I know. I think I know a thing or two—that typewriter shall go."

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A CASUAL OBSERVATION. " nuffin'hyar but vanity An'riches an'insanity De dollah seems to be de people's god, Dai^s a heap too many'Scariots A ridin'roun'in chariots. While de po'man am a carryin'de hod.

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Bar's too much haste an'hurryin', ^An'too much wealth at buryin', An dis hyarTlng am gettin'worse an'worse. Hit takes all ob de rakin's, De scrimpin's an'de scrapin's. To liquidate the'spenses ob de hearse. Bar's heaps ob care and worry; Ebberybody's in a hurry. An'de few am growin'richer ebbery day.

But de most ob us must shovel For de children in de hovel. An'silently await de judgment day."