1903 The Flowing Bowl by Edward Spencer

STRANGE SWALLOWS

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to make fresh ones let not that man take to selling wines or spirits on commission. Some years ago I gave an old schoolfellow an order for a case of Scotch whisky, which he declared upon oath to be absolutely the best procurable. Home came the whisky, and the first cork was drawn. Pop ! The stuff was literally effervescent, like champagne, or Russian birch-wine. " My dear," I observed to the partner of my joys and cares, " we had better not drink much of this." At the next Sandown Park race-meeting I met the whisky agent, who, I forgot to mention before, was a bit of a stammerer. "And wh-wh-wh-what," he asked, "d'you think of that wh-wh-wh-wh-whisky ? " Stammering is occasionally to be caught. "I think," was my reply, "it's the d-d-d- dashedest m-m-m-muck I ever t-t-t-t-tasted." " Wh-wh-what's the m-m-m-matter with it ? " " It f-f-f-fizzes like g-g-g-ginger p-p-p-pop." "My d-d-dear sir," he protested, "that is no dr-dr-drawback. That's thep-p-p-peat-r-r-reek." Peat-reek or no, that whisky was not used for household purposes—not even for the Christ mas pudding ; but was kept for the special benefit of such police-constables. InlandRevenue officers, process-servers, tax-gatherers, book agents, and retailers of certain winners, as might call around, with a thirst in them. Strange whisky reminds me of the American story of the proprietor ofa spirit-store in Arizona, who found the ordinary brand of " Rye" was not sufficiently attractive to his customers. So he fitted together a blend of his own, consisting of