1928 Here's How by Judge Jr (3rd printind)

: HERE'S HOW!

By Judge, Jr.

Price $1.00

®b, poets sing of steins of ale ~nb mugs of olb 3famaicer, }Sut tbe onlp besstl for a 5ail 3Js tbe goob olb cocktail 5baktt!

From an OLD DRINKING SONG-– written by myself at the age of ten.

HERE'S HOW! O(.Ew antl Revisetl EJilian 'By Judge Jr,

THE JOHN DAY COMPANY: New York

This 'Volume published for Judge Pub– lishing Company by the John Day Cont– pany, Inc.

COPYRIGHT, 1927; BY JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY

FIRST PUBLISHED, NOVEMBER, 192 7 SECOND PRINTING, DECEMBER, 1927 THIRD PRINTING, FEBRUARY, 1928

~ jforeworb ....................................... - ............................. 7lJ?'IJt HEN I was a mere ~ stripling no taller than a bar I can re– member my father speaking of certain friends as being "good mixers" and I was always curi– ous as to just what it meant.... Well, as Moran and Mack say, "We found that out!" Since that time I have mixed with all kinds of people . • . taxicab drivers, waiters, bar– tenders, policemen, flappers, col– lege boys and, yes, even ladies and gentlemen, and it is sur– prising what a fund of knowl– edge one can pick up if one keeps one's ears open! [ 5]

In this way I have collected data, and when I say data I mean data, which I have enclosed in this little volume. It represents thirsty years, I mean thirty years, of hard work, and I gincerely hope it 'will help just a little to brighten the coroner, I mean the corner, where you are! So, as the radio boys say, "Here's to you, my unseen au– dience! Shake! "

[ 6 ]

CONTENTS ,j. The Apple Jackrabbit .... Page 11 Everything But- ..... .. . '' 12 The White Lily ............ " 13 The Dodge Special........ " 14 Little Willie............ .. .... " 15 The Mamie Taylor...... .. " 16 The White Cargo.. .... .... " 17 The Royal Smile ...... .... " 1 & The Nose Dive............ .. " 19 The Magnolia Blossom.. " 20 The J udgette ................ " 21 The Grape Vine ...... .... .. " 22 Mint Fizz... ................... " 23 The Golden Gate .. ........ " 24 Oh, Henry! .................. " 25 Judge, Jr. .................... " 26 [ 7 ]

Silver Fizz ............... ..... Page 27 Silver Stallion................ « 28 The Los Angeles.......... « 29 Polo Cocktail .. .. .... .. .. .. .. " 30 The Corn Popper.......... '' 31 The Mule's Hind Leg.. " 32 The Nevada .... '..'............ " 33 Cornell Special.............. " 34 The Philadelphia Scotchman.................. " 3 5 The French '7 5 ........... ... « 36 ' The Cubano .. .... ... .. .... ... " 37 De Riguer...................... « 38 Alexander's Sister.......... « 39 Bacardi Punch................ " 40 Bacardi Cocktail ..... ... .. .. « 41 The Wop ... .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. " 42 . Barbary Coast .... .. .. .. .. .... « 43 Brandy Gump... ............. « 44 The Hurricane .... .... ...... « 45 The Earthquake....... ..... " 46 '[ 8]

The Frankenjack .... .... .. Page 47 The Swiss Itch .......... .... " 48 Old Reliables .. .... ....... ... " 49 The Crow...................... " 51 Louisiana Fizz .... .. ........ " 52 Champagne Cocktail...... " 53 The Lion...................... " 54 Whiskey Sour................ " 55 A Hot Toddy................ " 56 The Cowboy.................. " 57 An Egg Nog.................. " 58 The Dacqueri Cocktail.. " 59 Jack Rose Cocktail .. ...... " 60 Attaboy Cocktail............ '' 61 The Mint Julep .. ...... .. .. " 62

[ 9]

•Ioiiarp (Whatever that means) ................................................................................ GORDON WATER: A liquid formerly manufactured by a Mr. Gordon. It is w~tery in color but not in effect! · MC CARTY: An amber-colored liquid that comes from Havana, usually in pockets, etc. ! SCOTCH: This is also a liquid and comes from Scotland and some– times from Hoboken! HOOKER: A small glass about two inches high, formerly used by bar– tenders. JIGGER: See Hooker. THREE FINGERS: See Jigger. DASH: A •Dash is-I'm sorry I ever brought the matter up! ICE: A watery-colored solid sub– stance used for chilling drinks. [ 10]

THIS could really be called the Rabbit punch because it has the same effect!

I hooker of Applejack; juice of a lemon; juice of an orange; I hooker of maple syrup.

To As T: Here's to the National Bird-the swallow. [ 11 ]

QfberptfJing but- .................................................................................

THIS little drink is christened thusly beeause it contains every– thing but the kitchen stove! .

;4 Scotch; ;4 Gordon water; ;4 lemon juice; ' % orange juice; 1 egg; 1 teaspoonful of Apricot brandy; powdered sugar.

HAPPY THOUGHT The world is so full of this hoot– legger's gin I am sure we shall Mon he all hlis– tered within. [ 12]

lmbite i.ilp

ALL that is needed for this ex– periment is a white lily for the chest!

% part Cojntreau; % part McCarty; % part Gordon water; dash of absjnthe.

A D V I C E T 0 Jlvf 0 T H E R S 'Before spanking youngsters it is advisable to reach inside the left hip pocket and extract the flask. [ 13]

~be Dobge g;,pcdal ............................................................................. ALL I can say for this baby is ·"Dodge, Brothers, dodge!"

~Gordon water; ~Cointreau or mint; dash of grape juice.

'I

TOAST: H ere's to the U.S. No matter how much the population in– creases there's always rum for one more. [ 14] .

1ittle Dillie

G. E. T. of Cornell invented this and claims it will make you throw stones at your grand– mother.

I hooker of rye; dash of Apricot brandy; add ginger ale.

Ev0Lu:r10N Mother-Now, Willie: I'll give you a nickel if you take your castor oil like a little man. Willie ( 20 years later )-Blup– Gr-r-r-r-rk - uh - Pretty smooth stuff, Joe. [ 15]

~be .:fflamft ~aplor ........................................................ W Ho, in the audience, doesn't remember good old Mamie Tay– lor? · Well, here she is!.

1 hooker of Scotch; juice of two limes; fill tall glass with ginger ale.

To As T :Here's to the bootleggers. They are meeting Prohibition half way. They always add water to their hooch! [ 16]

H ERE's a concoction that's en– dorsed by all the ice cream manufacturers. And, take it from me, it's a rare beverage!,

~ vanilla ice cream; ~ Gordon water;

no ice is necessary; just sliake until thoroughly mixed, and add water or white wine if the concoction is too thick.

To As T: Here's to your car and my car-may they never meet~ [ 17]

.. _. ..................................... W Hic~, after two or three, brings a royal flush! .

% part Gordon water; % parts Applejack; juice of one lime ; 2 dashes of grenadine.

STATISTlcs: The things a man says when he is drunk with liquor are never as foolish as those he says when intoxicated with love. [ 18]

CoNTRIBUTED by "Billy" from Wheeler field, Hawaii. This is the aviator's favorite-let's go! Take a jigger of Gordon water, place in it an olive, then deposit the glass carefully in the bottom of an ordinary tumbler. Fill the said tumbler with water, ginger ale, or what have you, until almost to the top of the small glass, then down the whole thing quickly, that is, everything but the small glass. Pooa PAPA Father (to youngster, just put to bed)-Now what are you crying for? Son-I wanna drink. "So do /-go to slee.p." [ 19]

........ e e e e I I I I I .... I I I e e ................ "..

ORIGINATED by Finley White of Dur.ham, N. C., where the bull comes from!

X lemon juice; X cream; ~ Gordon water; dash of grenadine.

TOAST : Here's to love! It is like getting drunk, marriage is the head– ache the next morning, and divorce is the aspirin tablet. [ 20]

S1sTER invented this herself so I disclaim all responsibility as to results!

0 peach brandy; 0 French vermouth; 0 Gordon water; dash of lime.

ACROSS THE BAR. First Bartender-/ dreamed the cops raided the place last night. Second Ditto-Ain't it funny the crazy things a guy will dream! [ 21 ]

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THIS little recipe speaks for it– self-=vine not?

34 grape juice; 34 lemon juice; ~ Gordon water; dash of grenadine.

f927 MODEL Gentleman (inviting lady to dance )-What do you say, Miss Mince-shall we shake up another cocktail? [ 22]

I DON'T like to talk about my– self, but this is good and I don't mean pre-war! Put some nice fresh mint in a bowl, also some powdered sugar and crush the mint thoroughly. Take the juice of a lime, the mint, and a hooker of Gordon water and pour into a tall glass filled with ice. Fill up the rest with White Rock.

S'.J'A'.J'.lSTICS: It's a heck of a lot more fun viewing the Niagara Falls from the Canadian side! [ 23]

tif)e 8olbtn elate •• e I I I I I I I I I ............ I I I 1,.. 1 .............

AFTER a few of these you be– gin singing "California, here we come! "-hence the title.

% orange ice; 34 Gordon water; put in shaker and shake-no ice.

JO KB : "My dear, I tell you I was setting up with q sick friend!" "How many did you set up before he got sick?" [ 24]

ORIGINATED by Henry Oretel and believe us Henry knows his liquids! _

1 jigger of benedictine; 1 jigger of Scotch; 2 jiggers of ginger ale.

ADD TH Is: Then there is the bootlegger who walked all the way to the drug-store to get some poison to kill the cat. [ 25]

1tbt .Jubgt, Jr. ................................................................................ THIS drink, I discovered later, was invented by someone else, but it's good just the same!

1 part Gordon water; I part McCarty; i part lemon juice; powdered sugar; a dash of grenadine.

T 0 As T : Here's to our sons in col– lege; you have to make allowances for them. [ 26]

THIS is a very old drink but is printed especially for the younger generation.

white of an egg; juice of a lime; I jigger of Gordon water; powdered sugar; fill with White Rock.

HEY, HEY! Who said that prohibition isn't a success? lust look at the enormous amount .of ginger ale that is sold! [ 27]

6ilber 6tallion •e • • I I I I I I .......... I I I 8 ...................,......,,.

No, .James didn't mvent should have!

Branch Cabell this one but he

~ vanilla ice cream; ~ Gordon water; fill with Silver King Fizz.

No TE : She's only a bootlegger's daughter, hut she has her good p'ints ! [ 28]

AFTER trying this you will un– derstand why they talk about the climate out there!

juice of a lemon; 4 hookers of Scotch; 4 teaspoonfuls of sugar; I egg; dash of Italian vermouth. This is enough for four people.

H o T T J P : You can tell a col– lege hoy hy the hrand on his hip. [ 29]

~olo CCoddail ••"............................ e e • ........ e e I .............

INVENTED by Yours truly after a polo , ,match-in the living room!

~grape juice; ~ Gordon water; add a dash of white or green mint.

N o TE : .A great many night club guests don't wait for a raid to go imder the table. [ 30]

11tbe Corn ,t}opper

DoN'T get near a fire after drinking one of these!

1 pint of corn (Georgia or Mary– land); 0 pint of cream; the whites of two eggs; 1 tablespoonful of grenadine; fill highball glasses half full of this mixture and fill up with vichy or seltzer.

T 0 AS T ·: Here's to the blonde--we love her henna-way. [ 3 l ]

..............................................................................

THIS title is not an exaggera– tion-we know-we tried it!

Ys Gordon water; Ys benedictine; Ys Applejack; Ys Apricot brandy; Ys maple syrup.

WHEE z E : "Did you have a lot of fun at the convention, dar– ling?" "Barrels of it, dear." [ 32]

CAN'T vouch for this beverage as I Nevada one!

1 hooker of McCarty; juice of half a grape fruit;

juice of a lime ; powdered sugar; dash of bitters.

N 0 T E : Country people used to have old-fashioned boiled dinners; now it's the diners that get boiled. [ 33]

Cbe Corntll ~pedal

..........." ............ O e e e .... e e I I I I I ............

L1TTLE, of Cornell, claims that this beverage is as smooth as the - hair on a si1kworm: ·

34 part of benedictine; 34 part of Gordon water; 34 part lemon; 34 part lithia water.

.

TOA ST : Rere's to a red nose; it indicates a horn of plenty these days! [ 34]

•bilabelpbia ~tottbman

WE can't understand why this drink is called thusly unless it's because it gets you tight!.

I hooker of Applejack; I hooker of port; juice of an orange; add ginger ale.

To As 'r : Here's to the people· who are so dumb they think Prohibition is a law. [ 35]

Cfje jf rtncb "75"

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I ......

THIS drink is really what the War for the Allies: ,,

won

2 jiggers Gordon water; I part lemon juice ;

a spoonful of powdered sugar; cracked ice. Fill up the rest of a tall glass with champagne! [If you use club soda instead of champagne, you have a Tom Col– lins.]

TO As T : Here's to present day cul– ture-which doesn't care about your English if your Scotch is alt right! [ 36]

11tbe Cubano

CoNTRIBUTED by Owen Hutch– inson and it explains why Cuba. is a free country!

0 Gordon water; ~vermouth;

4 drops of Kummel; 4 drops of Charbreux; 2 drops of pineapple syrup.

Jo KE: Cain-Why did the in– surance people turn down Felix? Abel-Too much of a risk-he wears a celluloid collar and drinks bootleg liquor. [ 37]

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

HARK, ye lads! Here's the very latest drink! Three of these will knock you for a row of aspirins:

~scotch; 34 grapefruit juice; 34 honey; cracked ice•

. '

T e A 6 T : y OU don't have to look at a clothes line these days to see what the women are wearing! [ 38]

L1KE the Alexander, this little drink will give you the ambition to conquer more worIds.

% Gordon water; % cream; % creme de menthe.

To As T: Here's to Prohibition! It isn't so bad if it just doesn't get any worse. [ 39]

..............................................................................

THIS drink was graciously con– tributed by Mr. Cadman, to whom we give thanks:

I jigger of McCarty; I glass of hot milk;

I tablespoonful of sugar; a pinch of grated nutmeg; the yolk of an egg. Serve in a highball glass.

To As 'l' : Here's looking at you– double! [ 40]

}Sacarbi

THIS recipe is printed in re– sponse to 9,865 people who asked how to make it:

2 parts McCarty; juice of a lime; a dash of grenadine; cracked ice.

To As T : Here's to the tightwad who hides a pair of socks in the pocket of his pajamas in order t(} cut down his laundry bill! [ 41]

.............................................................

AFTER a few of these you go "wop! "-hence the title.

% Italian vermouth; % sherry; , , dash of orange bitters.

To As T : Here's to bootleg whis– key. It makes even the most casual user come in like a lion and go out like a lamp! [ 42]

THIS drink was originated on the Pacific ' Coast to get people used to earthquakes:

34 Gordon water; 34 scotch; 34 creme de cocoa; 34 cream; cracked ice. Serve in a highball glass.

T QA s T : T' o pedestrians; here's honking at you! [ 43]

............................................................ _ ............. _ ...

CoNTRIBUTED by E. L. A. of Yale collich. No wonder they can "hold 'em!"

1 hooker of brandy; juice of a lemon; 2 dashes of grenadine.

TOAST: Here's to the flapper, good and kind; Let's drink her health in toddy. She's nothing much upon her mind' And less upon her body. [ 44 ]

THIS concoction is all that the name implies and should be mixed in a cyclone cellar:

% pint of Johnny Walker; % pint of Gordon water; % pint of creme de menthe; the juice of two lemons.

TOAST: Here's to "Block & Tackle" whiskey-take a . drink, walk a block and tackle anything! [ 45]

......................._ .......... I e I I I,_........................

TI;IE title of this libation cer– tainly explains itself!

% Gordon water; % Scotch; % absinthe.

CHRISTENING The mother assisted at the hahy's christening hy hreaking a hottle of Scotch over its father's head. [ 46]

gfje jf ranktnjack

INVENTED by the two proprie– tors of a very, very well-known Speakeasy in New York City.

% Gordon water; % French vermoutli;· 76 apricot brandy; 76 Cointreau.

No TE : Jn these days of bootleg liquor a night cap is opt to put ~ fellow to sleep for good. [ 47]

..................................................................... INVENTED by one James Nor– ton of Princeton and guaranteed to go down with the ease of an elevator:

Place a pinch of salt on the back of the right hand and with the same north paw hold half a lemon between thumb and forefinger. Hold a small glass of Gordon water in the left hand and follow this se– quence: lick the salt, drink the Gordon water and suck the lemon!

T O A S T : Here's to the pedestrian; every year is leap year with him! [ 48]

FOR the benefit of our young readers who never drank before Prohibition we will give a list of the cocktails of the good old days:

DRY MARTINI:

31;1 part Gordon water; 31;1 part Italian vermouth; cracked ice; dash of orange bitters. 31;1 part rye ; 31;1 part Italian vermouth; a dash of Peychaud bitters; cracked ice. MANHATTAN:

[ 49]

CLOVER CLUB: '1' jigger of Gordon water; the white of an egg; the juice of a lemon; a dash of grenadine. BRONX: 0 part Gordon water; 0 part orange juice; 1 part French vermouth; cracked ice.

To AST: Here's to our wives; they are like cider-the longer you leave them standing around, the more of a kick you get! [ 50]

THIS drink is guaranteed to make you fly; like the crow, if you fly too far you will get shot!

% Scotch; ~ lemon juice; a dash of grenadine.

T 0 As T : Here's to woman-a flood of loveliness-dam her! [ 51 ]

............................................. H ERE's another drink that comes out of the South and makes you believ~ in Evolution:

1 cup of white of an egg; 1 cup of powdered sugar; 1 cup of lemon juice; 2 cups of Gordon water; 1 teaspoonful of cream; cracked ice.

TO As T: Here's to Chicago-hO'Ue a shot! [ 52]

THIS was originated at the Ritz in Paris, and is supposed to be very high hat:

Saturate a lump of sugar in bitters (Boker's preferred), add a piece of lemon peel and fill the cocktail glass with champagne.

TO As '.I': Here's to prohihition– drink her down! [ 53]

im.>e Iion

................... • e I I I I I I I I I ..........................

. So called ,because it will make - you climb a tree!

% rye; % port;

white of an egg; juice of a lemon;

teaspoonful of sugar; add slice of pineapple.

No TE : It isn't only the bootlegger who is cashing in on Prohibition, but a lot of his customers as well. [ 54- ]

THIS is really very mid-Victor– ian, but it ought to be included:

1 jigger of rye; the juice of half a lemon; a piece of lemon peel; a dash of sweet syrup.

To As T : Here's to our bootlegger -he's never low in spirits!. [ 55 ]

~ Jlot Gtobbp ................................ e e •I l•e•I I I I ..............

THIS is included for Grandma and Grandpa:

I jigger of rye, brandy or rum; the juice of half a lemon; I lump of sugar; fill up the highball glass with hot water.

''

To A s-r: H ere's .to the modern grandmother; may she never pass out. [ 56]

AFTER two of these you won't even need a horse. Ride 'em, cowboy!

2 parts scotch; I part cream; cracked ice.

To As T : Here's to the liquor that makes a man see double and feel single! [ 57]

...............................................................................

on

THIS is .only to be j):Ilbibed holiday occasions:

Thoroughly beat an egg with one– half of a teaspoonful of sugar; add I jigger of brandy or whiskey; ,shake in a shaker and add milk to taste;- pour into a glass and twist a lemon peel over it.

TO As T: Here's to the optimist who takes his crank off the Ford! [ 58]

~be J9acqueri Cocktail

THIS is a famous drink and has been reprinted for auld time's sake.

71 McCarty; % grenadine; juice of a lime.

THE MORNING AFTER. ''Who was that lady I seen you with last night?" "That's what's been puzzling me too!'~ [ 59]

Jack l\ose Cocktail

• 8 I I I I I a I I I I I I I I I I I I I I ...........

THIS is another old timer which ha,s sto~d up under the years. .

1h Applejack; % Gordon water; lli French vermouth; lli Italian vermouth; % orange juice; % lime juice; dash of grenadine.

No TE : The bootlegger who hoasts that he is a sel/-made man is not giving due credit to the Anti-Saloon League. [ 60]

srutabop Cocktail

THIS recipe has had several names but this one seems to be the most popular.

% Gordon water; % Bacardi; % Cointreau; % lemon juice.

STATISTICS: If all the college students in this country were laid erld to end, it would take a lot of hooch. [ 61 ]

~e ;fllint .J ultp

............................................

............................ ._...

THIS drink proves conclusively that the ,$outh isn't so solid!.

Dampen a small bunch of mint, dust with powdered sugar, bruise and pour over it a little boiling water; strain into a tall, thin glass; fill the glass with finely cracked ice; fill with brandy; add sprigs of mint and serve with straws.

T o A s T : Here's to our bills-and 'Jllay we some day m eet 'em. [ 62]

[ 63]

HERE'S HOW!