1903 The Bachelor Book

64

THE FATES. "Fortunecame to a youth one day and dressed'im

Up in his best. While Society smiled and caressed him^ , Along came Toil with a hammer and saw to test'im— And all three pressed'im. Manhood came,as it usually does,to beard'im > Virtue stole in and sat by his side, but feared'im j Ambition came with wonderful schemes and steered'im— But all three queered'im. Wisdom came and knocked at his doort he spurned'im. Frivolity came on bicycle wheels and turned'im? Remorse at last came up and stung'im and burned'im} And all three churned'im. Poverty opened his door and found'im and sought'imj Paralysis,crouched in a corner,had finally caught'im j Idleness claimed the prize because she'd taught'im— But all three got'im. Old Charon rowed up in Time's canoe and ferried'im Over the creek,when an undertaker hurried'im. Dropped sand on his box, while a parson talked and worried'im— But the whole crowd buried'im,"

Woes of Ireland.—"Unfortunately," said the orator, "our country is full ofabsentee landlords. If our nation were wealthier,it would not be so poor. We shall never get our • due till we all agree to follow one upright man. What I mean by an upright man is a downright honest man. True, nothing is certain in politics but the uncertainty of it; but, believe me,it is as sure as anything that is doubtful can be, that one day oppression shall cease,and they who are now oppressors be trampled beneath the heels of their present victims." Now this is as fine a drove of bulls as was ever seen at an Irish fair.

ROBERTS A LSBTE, LTD., LONDON