1935 So Red the Nose or Breath in the Afternoon

E. Ehiliips Oppenheim^s THE 3iAJV WITHOUT NEUVES Cocktail % DRY GIN (must be Gordon's or Booth's High and Dry) NoiLLY PRAT VERMOUTH (from a frcshly opened bottle) "Use plenty of ice, shake like hell and serve foaming in a fair sized glass. A small strip of lemon rind eut very thin might be allowed, but nothing else. No dividends." Ephillips oppenheim, writing from Le Vauquiedor, St. Peter Port, Guernsey, says that there may be • other cocktails in the world but "they are mostly useful for furniture polish." "No liqueur, syrup or Grenadine should ever find its way into an apéritif." Ruthless, tireless, the archvillain of Literature Limitedl We see him in his study turningout the io6th, loyth, loSth détective novel. We see editors writing ont checks; they are ail to E. Phillips Oppenheim. We see woodsmen cutting down Joyce Kilmer's trees; ail pulp for E. Phillips Oppen heim. \V'e see trucks being manufactured todeliver Oppen heim Opuses (Opéra); pickaninnies toiling in cotton fields to furnish cloth to bind Oppenheim'; we smeîl glue factories making glue; we see critics trying to think up what the hell to say about this one. Slowly the world is covered with a layer of Oppenheim, the vegetable life dies, we can't get our vitamins. Euri- ously brandishing copies of Oppenheim, the prole- tarian novelists close in around him. "Have a Ma.n Witliout Nerves Cocktail," says the imperturbable Oppenheim, continuing to crack ont the logth, iioth, mth.